What Does The Bible Say About Women Pt. 7 - Spousal Relationships Pt. 2
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Intro
Last time, we talked about how 1 Peter 3 and 1 Cor. 7 speaks to spousal relationships between unequally yoked wives and husbands. Specifically, we talked about how Peter and Paul calls Husbands and wives to treat each other according to Christ’s standards rather than the permission structure established by the Greco-Roman world around them. Today, we’re going to talk about what equally yoked spousal relationships should look like according to Ephesians 5, while clearing up some misconceptions about this passage along the way.
Where do sections start and end in Ephesians 5?
Read Ephesians 5:15-6:9
Based on your Bible translations and headings, where do your Bibles place the thematic divides between sections? How are they titled? Many place the divide right before v. 21; at Ch 6:1; and right before 6:5.
Based on some scholarship and some Greek professors of mine – Thanks Dr. Ron Peters! – it is definitely safe to say that 5:15 starts a new section.
What word(s) in v. 15 lead us to believe that this is the start of a new section? The word “then” indicates that it builds off of the previous section and starts talking about what comes next on how Christians should behave.
So, what is this section starting in v 15 and going to v 17 telling us to do? Instructing Christian’s to live wisely and that we should walk carefully.
So if vv.15-17 tells us what we should do, what is the function of vv. 18-20? Verses 18-20 tell us “How” we should live wisely and how we should walk carefully in the faith.
Based on vv. 15-20, Are these specific instructions or more general instructions? Paul is telling us to live correctly as a whole, as a church, just “in general.”
So, I want to make the argument that v. 21 also belongs in this section with vv.15-20 because there is still no specific instruction yet. It simply tells Christian’s to submit to one another – no specifics are given yet.
So if we take vv.15-21 to be a section that is more general, what shift takes place at v. 22? Who and where is the shift to and for? It becomes more specific instructions on how Christian’s relate within the family. The reason why I bring this up is because often times people will look at v. 21 and say, “yeah we all submit to one another, but the wives especially need to submit to the husbands just like what the verse says!” However, I want to argue that this is not what Paul is trying to get at. And this is for a few reasons. When translating the Greek, there is no verb in v. 22. What the English translators do is borrow the verb from v. 21 and transpose it onto v.22. This happens all the time and this is a normal thing that happens in Bible translation. But if we shift V. 21 to belonging to the same section as vv. 15-20, and v. 22 is the start of its own section, it changes the meaning of what women are instructed to do as a whole.
Some say on the right “See, just as Christ is the head, the Husbands are the head, and the wives need to submit to the husbands! Just look at v. 23!” or others will say on the left, “See the Gospel does away with the power structure and with Christ there is now power dynamics. So, Paul is trying to correct the wives of the time and fix their way of thinking to align with a God > Husbands > Wives kind of structure. However, I would argue, both are wrong ways to think about this passage.
The Greek literally translates to “wives, be to your husbands, as to the Lord.” Now if you take v.21 and add it to this section, it would imply that wives only need to submit! However, if you move v. 21 to the section above, it signals that wives AND husbands need to follow the instructions laid out in vv. 18-21! It’s a broader perspective and widens the scope that will be clarified in the rest of Ch 5, within the framework of the family.
Ok, you may ask, but why say “submit,” in v. 22 for the wives, and “Love” in v 25 for the husbands?
Well, let me ask you that very question, why do you think Paul says this and doesn’t say “Love and Submit” for each one?” It’s likely that Paul said these specific words because “loving” their wives and “submitting” to their husbands was a weakness for each group that they were struggling with! Wives were struggling with submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ, and Husbands were struggling with loving their wives! Furthermore, note how vv. 33 tells wives to “respect” their husbands, so it wasn’t exclusively an issue with submission. So women were likely starting to live the lives that Jesus promises with the Kingdom of God and the Church, but the Greco-Roman culture around them were telling the Husbands “Hey, you need to subject your wives just like how the emperor subjects his empire.
Based on everything we’ve been learning so far, has there been any sort of hint that there is any sort of power structure intended between husbands and wives that models itself like that of the Greco-Roman empire? NO! of course not!
However, it’s likely that some women may have taken their newfound freedom a little to far and started being disrespectful to their husbands and pushing them aside and disregarding their spouses and going to far beyond this new found Gospel freedom! In all likelihood, Paul is saying “Easy does it” to both the men and the women.
The question we’ve been trying to answer in this series is “does the Bible create a power structure where one group of people is subject to another group of people?” Basically, is everyone a full participant in society? What have we found out so far? Feel free to go back to previous lessons and refresh your memory.
The key word found all throughout this passage is “Christ.” While the Greco-Roman world enforces and expects a “Top-down” structure of ruling, Christ exemplified that No one Lords over others except for God Himself. Look at: v.22, “As to the Lord,” v. 23, “as Christ is the head,” v. 24, “submits to Christ,” v. 25, “as Christ loved…” v. 29, “as Christ…” v. 32, “about Christ and the church”
This passage obviously establishes Christ as the standard by which we interact and engage with one another, especially between spouses. So the question becomes what does this look like and how does this stand in contrast with the Greco-Roman way of thinking? You have to love one another like how Jesus gave up EVERYTHING for His Bride – the church.
How does this kind of sacrificial love compare with the Greco-Roman expectation of those who are in power/the head/leaders of the empire or household? We often assume that the word “headship” or “head,” that Paul is talking about here is referring to the Greco-Roman way of thinking – which is a “top-down” power structure where one dominates or rules over someone else. But the Kingdom of God and Christ’s example and Gospel message is that of a servant who gives up EVERYTHING for the church and does NOT look like how the world all around does things. This was true for the Greco-Roman world, and this is true for us today.
Christ instructs us to be loving, serving other’s interests above our own, and this is best seen in Philippians 2:1-8
Read Philippians 2:1-8
What does this say about how our Savior, Head, and God, and Messiah understands and exemplifies what it means to lead? It’s a complete reversal of the Greco-Roman understanding of leadership! SO much so that the text says that our Messiah took on the form of a slave, humbling himself and becoming obedient for our sake, even to the point of death! Jesus exercised Lordship through service and humility.
So what might be happening with the audience of Ephesians 5 is that some men may have been following Christ’s example, living meek lives, and serving their wives with humility – as Christ exemplified – However it was possible that some women saw how their husbands were behaving and assumed that “well now us women are in charge and the heads and must subjugate our husbands.” So Paul is speaking to remind them that it is NOT a Top-down power structure. Instead, Paul is using headship language to relate to the Greco-Roman context and correct their thinking to align them with the Kingdom of God way of living. It’s a strategy to redefine headship in light of Jesus which strips the Top-down permission structure of the Greco-Roman world and shifts it to how Christ understands headship.
Does this make sense? If this is not the case, then can you think of any examples in the OT or the NT UP UNTIL THIS POINT where all the sudden there is a new power structure where one person stands over another and subjugates them just like how the Greco-Roman world subjugated people?
Household Codes
This theme is also supported by the remainder of Ch 5 through the beginning of Ch 6. In normal household codes in the Greco-Roman world, the lower/subjugated party is addressed, told how to submit to the person(s) in charge, then that’s the end of the code.
If Paul and the Gospel is rewriting this idea of a top-down household code, then what do you notice is different between this structure found in Ephesians’ 5-6 from the Empire? While the Empire only gives commands for the subjugated party, these Bible passages include responsibilities for all parties, not just the one’s who are traditionally subjugated.
Why is this significant and groundbreaking? Paul takes a recognizable Greco-Roman format, empties it, and fills it with the Kingdom of God Gospel.
Wives’ instructions> Husbands responsibilities
Children instructions > Fathers responsibilities
Slaves instructions > Masters responsibilities
If this passage was advocating for a top-down structure, where does it say, “ok men, you are in charge and must subjugate your wives, children, slaves, etc.? Paul could have easily done it. He even uses the common structure of the Empire to do so! Yet he chose not to! This passage does not advocate for a “who is in charge” type structure but rather advocates for what relationships are supposed to look like in light of Jesus’ model of service to one another and the Gospel message.
Take away
The Kingdom of God and the church was not designed to be like the Greco-Roman world, or the Babylonian world, or even the world of the United States. According to Christ – who modeled a servant-leadership structure – NO ONE lords over others. ALL submit to one another in mutual subjugation under Christ.
Every party involved is on the same team, partners for live, collectively walking toward Kingdom Living and a Kingdom that is superior to any other Kingdom.