What Does The Bible Say About Women Pt. 6 - Spousal Relationships pt. 1
Click play below to listen as you read along
Intro
So far, we’ve laid down the groundwork for all of the clear examples in the Bible of what it does and does not say about women. So Far, we’ve found no laws or any passages that say “women can’t…” up until this point. Yes, we are going to be talking about some difficult passages, but not quite yet. We still have to explore what the Bible says about spousal relationships, lay down that framework so that we can properly understand the difficult passages we will tackle in a few weeks. But until we get past the book of Romans, do we even begin to start seeking any sort of limits on how women might be able to function? So then the question becomes, “Why is there a shift after Romans?”
This question can be split into two categories
The first talks about passages that address husbands and wives
The second talks about these difficult passages we will get to soon. So let’s dive into our first category of Husbands and wives.
1 Corinthians 7:1-11
Read 1 Corinthians 7:1-5 + 6-11
Based on everything we’ve talked about so far, how do you think this specific message would have been received by the citizens of the Greco-Roman world? Why?
This passage would have been seen as extremely radical and subversive within the Greco-Roman/ Gentile context. The reason being that married men in the Greco-Roman world were not bound to stay faithful to just one wife. In fact, for many, it was expected that a man who had means would go to a temple prostitute for his sexual desires, while the purpose of a wife was to bear him an heir and children. That was the Greco-Roman expectation for many spousal relationships.
Now that you know that, how do you think this passage impacted Gentile Christians who were hearing this for the first time?
The responsibility and social/economic rights were always given to the Greco-Roman individual who was “dominant” (the man/husband) while the submissive member of the relationship (the woman/wife) had little to no rights. This passage is completely counter-cultural to the world around it!
What are some things that are different in this passage that set it apart from the Greco-Roman world?
A woman has one husband AND a man has one wife
A woman must fulfill her marital duty to her husband AND the husband to his wife
A woman should have sexual relations with one husband AND each husband with his wife
A woman must yield her body to her husband AND the man yields his body to his wife
A wife must not separate from her husband AND a man should not separate from his wife.
Why is this significant?
Because its not a one way street like it is in the Greco-Roman world. Both parties are accountable to each other. Paul is not giving more rights or privileges to one gender or another in this passage. It’s important to understand this passage first before we get into the more difficult passages like the one in 1 Timothy. Use the clear to explain the unclear.
1 Peter 3:1-7
Read 1 Peter 3:1-7
Now we read it once, however, it is super important to understand this passage in its complete context. So let’s back up to 1 Peter 2:11 so we can get a wider picture of what is being said
Read 1 Peter 2:11ff
We needed to back up because 3:1 says “wives, in the same way...” meaning it was a continuation from the section before. 2:11 starts a new section so we start here. This passage talks about how believers relate to unbelievers. It is essentially providing guidance saying “Maintain good conduct among the gentiles.” And everything after that is unpacking how you maintain good conduct among the gentiles! Let’s look at an example
In v.13, how is Peter instructing us to maintain good conduct among the Gentiles? By “submitting to every human authority.”
And based on 2:13, 18, 3:1, and 3:7 who do you think is Peter specifically talking to on how they should submit to these “human authorities”?
v. 13: all Christians to the authorities
v. 18: Servants to their masters
3:1: Wives to their husbands
3:7: Husbands to their wives.
I can say this is how this passage is structured because of the repetition of the language used throughout these passages. Specifically, the repetition of the Greek participle indicates a kind of list structure that builds on the one before it in order. Each one of these passages starts with a Greek participle. The words “be subject, submit yourselves, be considerate” are all the same construction.
What do you think “be subject” or “Submit yourselves” means?
It means “accept that they are the ones who have standing and the ones God has given authority. Specifically, the governments for operational purposes within the Empire.
Does this mean do the things they do, believe the things they believe, rise up against them if you disagree, or to be a doormat if they oppress you? What do you think?
What it is saying here is basically “As much as you can do without compromising your faith and compromising the Kingdom of God, submit to the authorities.” This does not say “Let them push you around to the point where you eventually submit, because we must still remain faithful to God’s Kingdom. And it’s because we do not assimilate into the culture around us that we are representing the best that God’s Kingdom has to offer to the world. If we live out the Kingdom of God, then our communities will thrive. That is what Peter is advocating here in Chapter 2. So let’s get to Chapter 3.
Now that you understand that, do you think that 3:1 is its own stand alone passage or do you think it is connected to the previous passage in ch. 2?
Look at the very first word of 3:1 – “Likewise” Do you think it’s connected or completely stand-alone? It’s connected!
So if it is connected, then is it fair to say that it shares the same framework for Peter's argument? It’s the same framework!
Ok, so what kind of women do you think Peter is talking to in 3:1? Believing Christian women/wives
And what kind of men do you think Peter is talking about in 3:1? Non-believing Husbands/men
So is Peter talking to all wives and husbands here or just a select pairing? He is talking to wives who have unfaithful husbands.
Ahhh, so why do you think Peter is talking to the believing wives? What does he hope they can accomplish with their husbands? He is hoping they can lead them to the Lord.
And do you think they will be won over by force, or by coercion, or something like that? How will they be won over by their believing wives? Not by their wives submission to them but rather by their behavior in Christ and in their actions and lives.
Looking at 3:7, what kind of spousal relationship do you think Peter is addressing given what we learned from 3:1-6? He’s likely talking about Gentile Greco-Roman men who became believers with likely unbelieving wives. We know this based on the fact he uses a Greco-Roman phrase “weaker partner/vessel/sex”
Given this context, why do you think Peter uses the phrase “weaker partner/vessel/ sex?” To speak in a way that these newly believing Christian Greco-Roman husbands can understand.
What words does your Bible have for “weaker partner, vessel, sex?”
It is extremely important to note that the word in Greek does NOT mean “Sex, gender.” σκεύει Is the same word used in 2 Timothy 2:20 when Paul talks about golden, silver, wooden, and clay vessels (like pots, cups, bowls, etc.) all used for different purposes. Some for honorable and others for dishonorable purposes. Paul also uses this word in Romans 9;22 when talking about vessels of wrath fitted for destruction and vessels made of mercy prepared beforehand in glory for the inclusion of the Gentiles into God’s Kingdom. Unfortunately, the translations that translate this word for “sex” or “gender” are interpreting this word outside of the context that Paul uses everywhere else in scripture. So a better translation would be saying “Show honor to your unbelieving wife as you would a fragile vessel. Peter uses this “vessel” language like how one would describe a fine china.
Fine china are vessels that you treat with neglect or roughness, or do you treat them with special honor? Why? You treat fragile vessels with extra special kindness and care because they are important and deserving of special honor! Peter is trying to tell the husband with an unbelieving wife to treat her like fine china with extra special care, honor, and respect, to win her over compared to forcing her and dominating her into your Christian faith. Don’t force her to be a Christian, even though the Greco-Roman culture says you can. We, in God’s Kingdom, don’t live like that
Take away
How does this shape your understanding of the spousal relationships that the New Testament describes?
How does this compare to what you previously understood
How does this fit into the larger conversation we’ve been having about men and women?